Bad week..

Having my finals this whole week..
Exams = aarghh !!
Reasons for feeling so low:
1) Put on a lot of weight.. ( been eating too much junk foods..stress lar ;P)
2) My face is having it's own party, which means im having major break-outs..millions zits..
OMG ! i think my face is like pizza face now *sob*
3) Stress.. my frens finishes exams on wed but i finishes on thurs. ( being pathethic me, i failed
my maths last sem.so have to retake this sem. Note to self: must do well in this sem. Must
aim for 80 & above. Erm, well pass enough lar ;P )
4) Supposed to diet but can't.
5) Having fever & a bad cold..
6) Have not finish my IB yet.. im only at chapter 2 & i had lost interest in it already.. =(
7) Singapore airlines are so freaking expensive..
8) My hair does not behaved how i want it to be.

wtf dei... it's all turning worse for me.. hmmm, maybe bad karma ?? need to do more good deeds..anyone need me for help ?? =)

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Content ;) Unsatisfied :(

For the first time ever, i woke up early !! 10 in the morning !! * proud* ;) Went to the Cleo 10 hour shopping marathon !! My legs are aching right now !! *ouch* That's the consequences of walking too fast in heels !!
I bought blusher pot, lip glaze, eye shadow, highlighter from Red Earth. It was so freaking pack !! You can't even get to the counter !! The situation at that time was like a lettuce sandwiched between two slice of bread ... Can't breath.. The worse part was some of the girls/ladies had BO =( Imagine sandwiched between those people !! NIGHTMARE !! Im trying so hard to breath !! ewwww !!!
Oooo... Bought a eye brightener from clinique ! ;)
Walk around trying to find all the participating outlets for the Cleo 10 hour shopping marathon ...
Walk into FCUK ,... Bought a pair of jeans there !! loveeee it !!! Even though mum nag me for like 15mins.. but it's so worth it... because i don't have to pay !!! LolZ...
Next stop, Xixili ... Bought ermm lingeriessss ... It was so cheap !!
I can feel that my leg is screaming with pain but ...
Bought two pairs of Levi's jeans ... Wat's the model ?? well, u wil just have to find out urself *ngeks* (hint: from the new range but not the one with the ugly pocket !! )
Bought flip-flops from white sands & this really cute choker from mori pin for only RM10 !!! =0
Grab a complimentary drink from coffe-bean.. took a sip & realized it was mocha !! eewww.. hate mocha... once i drank mocha, i cant sleep.. like now !!Arghh.. hate it !!
Im contented in a way.. But yet i feel unsatisfied..
It's not that i did not buy enough stuff ..
It's just that im still feeling so piss about the arguments i had yesterday with 'him'..
I HATE IT !!!!
I HATE THE WAY IM FEELING RIGHT NOW!!
I don't seem to understand what he's thinking...
wtf...
Im not trying to be depressed or anything..
im jus feeling piss, moody & hurt...
well.. im happy that i got so much stuff today..
courtesy of my mum !!! thanx mummy !!!
well, except for the red earth makeups..

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Pathetic Me..

I should know that it was a bad idea to involved in a relationships now .. My exams are 2 days away !! but yet there's so much for me to study.. I just started chapter 1 of law.. There's 10 more chapters to go! I cant seem to concentrate ! i jus had a row with my bf.. I hate it !! We always argue over small things !! And all this arguments disturb my concentration !! =( wtf !! Yea, i know it's useless to get work out over small things !! Like arguments with ur bf ... but somehow it affect me !!
He's so freakin busy.. Sometimes it really pisses me off !!
He's working 7days a week.. 7am-7pm ..
He dun even bother making time for me??
Im supposed to be studying but im really piss at him !!!
WTF man..

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Memories ;)

CPU Memories...

The Best Time EVER :)

Leroy, u would know what we r trying to do !! Lolz..



Me, Leroy & Rae.. wtf dei ;p


we r unique in our own way ;)


Alex & joanne ...


Ji-nette, sam, me, rae, joanne, alexiss, balvin, audrey, nessa.
*luv every one of u* ;)


jason, leroy & pang... so gay ;p

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Believes..

I watched the exorcism of emily rose today.. One word to describe it. Disturbing !! seriously.. The whole movie, each scene is still stuck in my mind right now! 3am huh ?? i sleep at 3plus every day !! i guess i will have to go to bed EARLY today !! wouldnt want to risk anything right ? ;) Watching the movie make me realized something.. Make me believe that devils and GOd do exist ! I used to think that Christian is just a religion.. I used to go for Christian fellowship in my high school. But i always leave early and go in late . Wen, u should know ! ;) & i don't say the prayers that Christina do at the beginning of the erm ceremony?!? Because im a buddhist.. im not a hard-core buddhist because i am not. i don't go for sunday school. (yes, buddhist have sunday school as well). I rather sleep at home ! ;p The only thing i believe in the buddhist err book? is ghost.. that's all..
The movie today make me think that maybe converting to Christian is better. I find that at least christans know who they are praying for and how the prayer works, & the prayers are meaningful. Every single word has it's meaning.. No offense to those Buddhist out there but i think sometimes buddhist prayer are just words. Sometimes i dont even understand what am i saying because it's all in sanskrit.. At least Christian prayers are in words that we can understand..
I want to convert into a Christian !!But i don't like to go to church every sunday..
Does that make me a bad person??
hmmm... Christian people out there.. Advice ??

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Mindless talk

Had a long conversation with jason lee last nite.. or should i say this morning.. He called me at 1plus in the morning !?!? HELO !! i need my beauty sleep u know ! ;) It kinda freak me out because he called me out of blue.. We din talk for like weeks.. with me busy with my finals.. Him? galfren ...
What we talk about ?? well, basically everything and anything.. just talking crap larr..
So long din rant my anger on him already *ngeks*
The funnies part was both of us said that we stopped going clubbing for weeks..
The last time both of us club was on his birthday ... & that was it.. Period.
We talk so much about lives... about relationship, about money, about my probs & his probs..
Eh, jason, dun blame me for that !! i cant help it !! i duno how to tell *him* !!!
We talk until he ran out of credit..
I jus realized something..
I'm like the walking alarm clock for few of my guy friends.. : Jason Lee, Adrian & Kah Choon..
So who want to be next on the list ? ;)
Because im the walking alarm clock, i tend to confused who i should wake at certain hours..
i confused with the time... sorri..
How am i supposed to remember ?!?
& when i told jason about me being a walking alarm clock, he make me dam stunned..
by saying that i should be proud to be a walking alarm clock .. wat?!??!???
"im better than normal alarm clock because i will call until they pick, which means that they will wake up. They wont wake up if they are using the NORMAL alarm clock because they will put it in snooze for like millions times & they will fall back asleep"
This is what jason said to me..
Am i supposed to be proud ?? ;) LOLZ

p/s: u guys should reward me with something for being ur alarm clock ! ;)

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Photos

With Leroy and Pang and Rae

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Tuesdayy ...

me, mich, rae & debz posing in none other than Asia Cafe.. ;)

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Monday Blues =)

Justine, me, mich, rae... We want to bite mich cheek !! =P
Finals is around the corner, & we might never gona see each other again..
Therefore, it's time for us to take our camera out & cam-whore.. =P

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Death

Someone close to me just pass away.. It makes me think that life is so unpredictable.. U duno what's going to happen the next sec.. Tragic .. Depressing... Stress... Life is full of ups and downs..

"Live life to the fullest"
This captions rings a bell in my head.. it kinda give me the idea that i should just do what i want to as long as it is not over the limit.. but sometimes it's hard to live your life to the fullest.. what with parent's rules, studies, etc etc ...

But i realized that as long as u think that what r u doin satisfied you, then u r on the right track..
So go on gals..
Eat that piece of chocolate cake.. ice-cream or whateva fattening foods that u r craving for..
Why bother dieting when life is so unpredictable...
& guys..
Do whateva crazy thing u guys have on ur mind...
U never know waht might happen tmw !!

p/S: I ate a plate of pan-mee for dinner & had ice-cream for supper... Yummm !!! =)

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;)

A gift from Adrian.. Thanxx so much.. even though the bear is quite small ( =P ) but it's ur thoughts that count .. =) Im waiting for the whole collection .. Lolz ...

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Saturday ...

Had a busy sat.. woke up at 9am ... I promise jo that we will go for the bumper issues thing in sunway pyramid.. Reach pyramid at bout 10.45 am.. The line was so freaking long even at 10 plus in the morning.. & we thought we were early.. What time these people reach ? 9am??!? Adrian came pyramid at 11am.. Stupid !! He was pms-ing tat time.. !! He came for like few minutes and then he went starbucks yum cha.. He cant even like help me line up or sumting like tat.. !?!? Whateverr ... Jo's bf, Brian came after awhile... & finally adrian came to accompany me after drinking his stupid drink !!
It's useless because he & brian walked away and started saying how dumb me & jo are.. lining up for lousy goody bag.. That's not worth it.. bla bla bla...
Millions of complain from both of them... They are like match made in heaven for critizing us !!
Went shopping with jo while waiting for brian to test drive the smart car for two..
A slimming contest was help in the open air of the entrance..
A lady approach us by giving us some forms.. I thought she was asking us to join the slimming program.. I walked away but jo is not so fortunate =P Jo's face was so shocked when the lady approach her.. She was like,"huh?".. anyone with a sense can see that jo does not need a slimming program.. she's skiiny enough..
But it turns out that she was notluring us to join some slimming program.. she was just asking us to vote for the contestants...
Oooo..i bought a bag from pyramid.. it's black in color.. I love it !!! =) & it's only for RM45.90 ..
Bargain !!! =) Had lucnh wif jo & brian in genki sushi ! Saw this really HOT & CUTE guy in genki sushi... He was sitting opposite me .. & he was there with his mum & i think it's his brother ..
HOT guy alert !! LOL ...
Went back about 2 plus.. Cos i wanted to go home to study first before going out at night with kah choon..
Oo.. i saw that HOT guy again when i was waiting for my dad to pick me up in the main entrance of pyramid... HOT !! HOT !! HOT !!
let me descirbe this guy.. he had messy spike.. (YUM!) .. tall with a nice body.. not too thin but yet not too fat either... & he was there with his mum.. This shows that he has a caring personality ? =)
Went to the euro fun park at night with kah choon..
I would never sit all these rides anymore !! except for maybe some that it's not so erm challenging ..
Sat sky vortex.. it was dam scary.. but im still feeling alright after that ride...
But after the challenger ride, i feel so ditzy.. i feel like vomiting but i cant..
Imagine how i feel at that time..
Went to watch dragon squad with kah choon after that..
The show is dam violent... seriously... Feel like puking halfway throughout the show..
After the movie, we went yum cha in jelutong with jason lee..
Our table was the noisiest... Lolz .. me & jason was making so much noise !! talking nonsense.. =P
Saw Some form 5 dj-ians.. dun they have to study for spm ?!? Form 5 nowadays !! Hahaaa...
have a fun night ... =)

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The True Color ..

Had a long weekend where i finally learn what life really means to me.. What's the true meaning of life.. How life are meant to be ..
Some say life is full with obstacles ... and it is true .. Life is full with obstacles.. Obstacles that we as human sometimes cant take it..
We face millions of obstacles as we grow up stage by stage..
I also learn that life is like a long journey.. During the journey we might face something that make us feel so uncomfortable for the rest of the journey..
Do you feel this way about your life at times?
This weekend make me realize that life's a bitch.. You can't get what you want even though you spend months and months trying to get it but you wont get what how you want it to be.
God gives us life but sometimes God can be really unfair at times.. Im not blaming God! im not.. im just saying in general..
Why some people that treat the people around her/him bad but yet they live a better life than those who are trying so hard to help people, sacrifice themselves for the sake of others?
Is it just God trying to test us ? To see how capable we are of taking care ourselves?
So many questions but yet the answers are unknown..
I learn that nobody can help you in ur lives..You have to learn to help yourself emotionally and physically.
Life is meaning-less. What's the use of living if there is no purpose or goal?
Sometimes people think that live is just having fun & not caring what other people think ..
But you wouldn't know what some people are facing..
There are some people that have to burden themselves with stress from trying to sacrifice for the people around them.
Why is it so hard to be able to lead your life the way you want ?
It's your own life.. God give life to everyone and everyone have to right to life the way they want..
So what's with the controlling parents, the stress in live that cause people to suicide and friends that take advantage of them..
There are some poeple that trying so hard to please everyone but you know what i just realize?
It's not enough !! No matter what you do or how much you do, it will never satisfied the people around you..
It will never be !!
So what's the best solution?
Ignore everything around you..
Jus go through with your life..
There's nothing you can do to change how your life is going to be..
WE can't play God...

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Bitchy me...

Im such a bitch lately and also naive .. (seriously!) Toying with people's feelings.. Thinking that everything will go my way and it will turns out the way i want.. Yea.. Yea.. i know what you guys are thinking.. "what happen to me?"
Blame it on stress.. Exams are just around the corner & i just realize that i havent start studying.. & when i flip through my textbooks, I was so freaking shocked.. There's so much to read.. Oh god.. Im so screw .. !!!! I hope my marks is good enough for me to go aus next year =) Aus, ere i cum !!!!! =) LOL.. *praying hard that i can graduate & dun have to repeat another sem*

29 more days to Singapore Zouk Fest thingy =)
17 more days to finals =/

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Singapore Zouk Fest...

The title says it all.. =) Read bout it in JUICE last month.. but it totally slips out from my mind.. until today.. Rae was talking about it.. & i was like, "Ohh... yea.. i defenitely will be there!!" hehee =) Me and Rae was planning the transportation, accomadation, clothes yadi yada ... Oooo.. im so excited... If im not mistaken the ticket is 30 singapore dollar.. so will be bout RM70 ?!? i sux in maths lar ! =P oooo.. im so excited... go grab a copy of tis month JUICE for more information..
i sound like one of those promoter, promoting it.. *ngeks* =p

30 more days to Singapore Zouk Fest ... =)

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My Early New Resolution... =P

1. Go on a strict diet .. =P
2. Start a new diet plan...
3. Decide what's wrong and what's right ..
4. Earn more $$$
5. Get fit ...
6. exercise more ...

LOL.. hopefully, i can stick to my resolutions..

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Koma 2 ...

Watch koma 2 in 1u today with jo, desmond & adrian ... Was so excited to watch it ... i lve horror movie .. even though i wont be able to sleep after watching horror movie.. but i still LOVE it =) Stupid ? yeaa .. kind of .. well, we do stupid stuff in our lives rite ? =P The que to buy the popcorn was so freakin long ... We miss the few mins of the show .. =/ Jo was so happy that we miss a bit of the movie.. She hate watching horror movie but i FORCE her to watch Koma 2 with me .. LOLZ ... well, too bad jo ... but at least u can grab desmond shirt rite ;P *ngeks* I scream even at the beginning of the movie... cos the sound effect was so loud .. sorriiiii... din mean it =P Halfway during the movie, i scream AGAIN .. =P it was not my fault .. jo disturb me !!! I was so engrossed with the movie.. then she have to use her cold hand to touch my shoulder... Obviously i scream rite !! How would i know is her hand when im so into the movie... Jo, desmond & adrian was laughing throughout the whole movie !! (eh, it's horror movie lar ppl.. not comedy movie !! ) ooo... i got a bear from adrian .. will upload a pic of the bear =) heheee ... the bear is so cute... wll, i think it is lar... =P The movie was kinda sux.. dun even have a storyline.. it's jus gross .. super super gross ... Wana puke when i think back bout it ... dun ever watch koma 2.. it's a total waste of money.. seriously...
Jo, desmond & adrian : im not watching horror movie wif u guys dy .. =p lolz ...

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Confused ...

Kah choon msg me today .. out of blue .. i was so shocked and suprised but yet happy in a way =D Got so hyper after he msg me that i couldn't concentrate in law class .. LOL ... I jus found out something.. He dun even have a galfren.. All those stuff that jason told me are the opposite of what kc is telling me.. Jason told me that he has a galfren... etc etc .. Im so ocnfused right now.. i duno how should i trust ... Jason is my good fren and he's my ex ... Oh god... Kc told me a lot of stuff today.. He make it as if we are still together.. Cos in one of the msgs, i ask him about one of his friend that i went clubbing with... So he told me that that fren of his is bad influence.. smoke, drugs, weeds, u name it, he done it.. Kc asked me not to mix around with him so much.. ya di ya da... lecturing me on how easy im inlfuence by my surrounding.. Then i say that his frens most probably forget bout me already cos they were on drugs at that time.. He say they know im his gf .. WAT's Tis ?!??! im his ex riteee ??? I dunoo.. shit mann ... im so freakin confused... he make it sound like as if we are still together.. wat's this ?
OMG ... i need advice from my babeesss =)

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Someday...

maybe someday i will understand why am i feeling this way..
maybe someday i will be alright again..
maybe someday i will be slimmer again..
Someday i hope that everything will be alright again..
the sun will be shinnier..
the clouds will be fluffy..
there will be less rain..

If this happens, then i will be chirpier, less moody & happier ..
As for now, i have to settle on being my normal self: Fat, short &useless..

Someday i hope that i will be alright again..
someday i will turn back and laugh at my silly-ness.
Someday i will rub it into those people that look down on me..
Someday i will help or repay back to my frens that alwis help me & alwis be there for me..

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Clubbing...

Woke up at 12pm.. so freakin tired.. wanted to sleep longer .. than i remember that Rae is coming to my hse to do ib project.. drag myself up.. Slept at 6am the day before.. Was talking to adrian.. Ended everything.. sad? yeaa.. kind of.. but not that much.. After talking to him, i talked to jason.. talked to him until 6plus in the morning.. Both of us were feelin so depressed..
Agenda of the whole afternoon:
12.15pm: Rae reach my hse..
12.30-4.30: On the comp, doin our projects.. talking.. gossiping..telling her my problems.
5pm: Rae went back..
6pm: went out for dinner with parents..

Basically thats how i spent my whole afternoon.. sad rite.. was so tired after on the comp the whole day.. oooo... im getting excited.. im goin clubbing with!! To celebrate jason lee bday !!
Adrian was late to pick me up.. (yea, we r still frens... )
But jason was even more late than me.. He reach kl around 12 plus.. nearly 1.. Stupid !! make me wait for you.. when i could be inside dancing dy !! =( Went thai club... ( yea, i know!) i wanted to go zouk but he was so stubborn.. keep insisting to go thai .. fine... go thai then.. Went to meet wei ping in zouk after jason had open a bottle of chivas.. got lost on the way there to zouk.. it was my fault ! sorri... i gave the wrong direction.. oppsss =P
OOohhh... wei ping has this cute guy fren, William.. he was so cute !! =) * winkz* wei ping, wei ling and william follow us to thai.. they only stay for like maybe half an hour.. oh god... wei ping can even shuffle in heels .. & dam rite.. she can shuffle.. Im the only one that can't shuffle.. oh god.. so malu man .. hahaaaa..
Went ming tien yum cha with jason, sing kit, alex, terrence & aaron.. We were not satisfied.. cos thai close at 3.. so early.. oh mi god.. =P
Fought with adrian the whole time inside the car on the way back form kl.. i dun even know wat's his problem.. i dun even know wat's his problem..we weren't together anymore...so wat i drank alot.. wat's that got to do with him.. im not his gf wert.. he dun have the right to control me.. He even raise his voice and scold me.. wtf ...
Our conversation goes like this when we reach ming tien:

Adrian: Let's go back home.. im dam tired now.. my eyes are killing me.. and it's
nearly 4 dy...
Me: I dun wan to go home yet.. if you wana go home, then you go home yourself.. im
not tired!
Adrian: Stop being so childish.. Fine.. if you don't wana go home, then you ask jason
to fetch you home later... i dun wan to choi you anymore dy larr..
Me: Fine.. wateva.. i can find my own way wann...
Adrian: Dun merajuk dy k.. i seriously dam tired.. i sick oso go clubbing with u.I need
to work tmw k..
Me: mumble sumting.. ( i cant remember wat i mumble =P )
Adrian: (silent)
Me: ( open the car door & put my both melg out)
Adrian: (open his door & walk to my seat) Now u either choose to follow jason or me.
Decide now..
Me: Of cos jason larr.. ( of cos i din say out loud =P ) .. i jus keep quiet..
Adrian: dun pretend that u din hear what i say !!
Me: WAT ??? y must choose..

I was silent the whole time i was waiting for jason.. stupid jason.. alwis oso late.. Adrian was so freakin piss when he saw me walking out of the car when jason arrive... wateva larr.. wat he want me to do.. it's jason bday.. & jason is my good fren... We were so crazy in ming tien.. talking nonsense.. all their secret out =P
Saw aiman, ah sun, mel in ming tien as well.. Sing kit, aaron and jason were so drunk.. & it's so funny seeing hteir face.. especially sing kit's face.. LOL...
we were in ming tien till bout 5plus in the morning ... crazyrite..
then jason fetch every1 home except for me,aaron and alex.. we went tea time to meet mike..
sat there until bout 7.. then mike fetch me home..
thanxx aaron for carrying me & listenin to me cried..
thanx jason for listening ot me cried even though it's ur bday...
dam.. another hang over day again...
note to self: must not drink anymore...

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Jason Lee's Bday Celebration !!

Went clubbing on his bday eve... went thai club ... it was ok larr... not bad... went ming tien after thai close.. sat in ming tien til 7am.. then mike fetch me home.. thanx mike =) oh & thanx aaron.. first time i see u vomit worr... hahaa..
& ur secret is safe with me ..=P *ngeks*
i will blog bout the agenda next day..
feelin so tired..

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Happy Birthday Jason Lee!!!

Happy Birthday Jason Lee !!! Hmmm... no wishes for you.. just that thanx for alwis be t here for me.. listening to me cry.. even on ur bday celebration.. u have to listen to me cry .. ranting to you about my problems.. ( sorri, cant help it.. when im drunk i started off with crying,then i will get hyper)... =P Happy bithday jason boy !! ur pressie will be on the way... soon.. =P
* Hugsss & kisses *
p/s: i will load the pic i took wif the bday boy soon.. it's in my camera phone... wait lar.. now not free =P We both look so drunk.. red-eyed... red face... stupid smile.. drunk smile.. =P

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Same probs.. same situations ...

slept at 6am yesterday.. was talking to jason lee till kinda late...
we talk about our probs.. our lives.. our secrets...
& we both realized that we had the same problem but we cant find the solution for it..
wtf ...
we were so freakin depressed...
i try to console him & he tried to console me ..
but guess what? it didn't work..
cos after that attempt-console, we still feelin so piss, depressed, sad..
I cant tell wats our oh-so-depressed prob is.. cos then the whole world would know =P
but i guess life is like that..
there's times that our lives is so freakin bad, that u feel like committing suicide..
but yet htere are times that u feel happiness every single day of ur lives..
every min,hour, sec or wateva..
yea, i feel so depressed, emo & down..
so sue me..
i have the right to be that way..
Every human have the freedom of expression. rights & speech..
hmm.. i know my law knowledge will come handy one day..
jus never expected it to be so soon.. LOL
=P

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Behind all these mask...

I jus found out sumting ...
Is that most of the times people are fake..
Behind their masks, they are all fakers.. liars..
why in the world would people do this ?
Isnt it better if you just show your true color ??
Even if you show it, please dont even give me some bullshit..
Im not naive nor stupid..
Sometimes you think that im really dumb but guess wat?
im jus pretending to be.. im just going along with it..
I already know the truth ..
I just don't want to say it ..
It's not that i don't know.. It's that im not interested in confronting you..
It's useless to confront you..
Just let it be larr ..
What the hell can i do oso rite.. if you insist on doing so ..
im not interested ...that's all i know..
You are just like all of them... fakers, liars & u know what..
i couldn't give a shit bout that anymore..
Im just gona ignore it..
Im tired of bugging my friends with all this shit probs just cause u guys decided to act this way..
To be fake... to lie ... to go beyond your heart..
Im seriously dam tired of all this shit already.. seriously.. i am..
If this go on even after my finals.. you know what..
im gona do the right thing..
i wil..

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