♀ Kathryn Soo ♥

In your life, there's this study that is known as character study.....
Character study is when u study the behaviour and characteristics of a person..
Including yourself...
There are times when you tell yourself it is better to be yourself than to pretend to be someone else you are not....
And that's way you usually do..
You learn that you just have to be true to yourself...
That's all you need in your life..
But for the past few weeks, you learnt that being true to yourself is not enough..
People will just take a look at you and laugh...
Laugh at the silliness ........
I felt that the crazier you act, the worse you feel..

You spend lucnh time, watching those people pass by you..
Studying their character..
The way they behave..
You envy them for the carefree life...
You envy the girls because of their confidence..
You envy the guys for their friendship with each other...

And you realized that living life to the fullest is not enough.....
It's never enough....

You watch shows that makes you cry, not cos you adore all these shows..
it's cause you want to feel better after crying........
You watch horror movie because you want to hug that special someone of yours.......
You watch love shows because you feel that the shows always end up happily ever after..
Something you want but unable to get it..

You want to forget about it..
You want to forgive and forget..
But its not that easy..
You can forget about it
But the memories are still here.........
Everywhere you go, you remember it.......
You remember what and when you guys did at that certain place.......

You walked away feeling that the devil in you defeated you..
You feel worse..
But you just kept it to yourself..
Becasue you wouldnt want people to pity you..
And feeding you with craps...
Craps you get tired of listening........
And all you want to do is just ask them to fuck off........
But... but...

At times, you start to wander what you did wrong...
Why some people act this way........
Was it your fault or ??
Sighs...

I feel exhausted with all these..
Seriously..
I need a long break from everything..........

All nonsense questions keep popping up..
Questions that you felt that you need the answers to it
But ... sometimes you might think that its easier to just let it be.............