♀ Kathryn Soo ♥

I'm bored and emo...
I'm dam emo...
I was sposed to meet KeL, Von, Sab, Justin, Way in 1u this afternoon..
But cause i got some 'stuff' that happened to me...
I cant make it..
Sorrri KeL and Von...
I hate being emo..
So many stuff are happening but so little time to handle it.
Alrite... i kinda exaggerate a lil but still, i'm not sure what's my final decision..
Me myself is freaking confused..
Confused on the fact that (..................................................................)
Im tossing in my bed every night thinking about my decisions.
Im not sure in the first place my decisions are right or isit wrong.
Im trying to think that i should give chances..
Because you never know what might happen with one lil chance you give to the person..
But..But..
I'm thinking that maybe what i did what wrong..
Maybe i shouldnt even let myself be in this situation..
I'm not sure what to feel at the moment.
Different feelings of guilt, sadness and depression have been sinking in since late last night.
Its so weird how you can never be closer to anyone else in the world and the next, you barely know each other anymore.
I know I'm the one who should be blamed for this.
Maybe I didnt fight enough.
Maybe I should have tried harder.
But maybe it was meant to be even though I dont want it to.
It was difficult for me to make a decision.
Cos no matter what, everyone will get hurt.
Oh God...
I dont know whether should i go along with what i had decided or just to resolve things?
A part of me thought the decision will be the best for everyone..
But yet, another part of me is ignoring it and thought it will be selfish to do so..

Am i being selfish if i go ahead with what i have in mind?
Am i being thoughtless about those person around me if i go ahead with it?
Am i hurting those that really care bout me if i go ahead with it?
Do those that said they care, REALLY care?
Should i trust what anyone said?or should i not anymore?
Is trust really that important anymore?
Should i just ignore everything and go ahead with it?

Im off to the clinic now..
Medicine is really a nightmare to me now...
Heads pounding, throat uber painful, coughing like mad, body aching..
shuckkss........