♀ Kathryn Soo ♥

Sometimes it's better for me to express myself in words than to verbally talk to express myself..
Because when i express myself verbally, i cant bring the words that i want to say..
Reading Cynthia's blog make me think about what's the real me...
Sometimes i dont even know.. am i different in somebody's eyes?
OR am i the same in everyone's eyes?
When he said he looks at you differently, does he mean it ?
When he said you are different from the rest, you realized that you wouldnt care what other people think about you because you know you are different in that person's eyes..
You know that person believe in you..
You know that person is gona be there for you, gona go down the road that's full with insecurities with you..
And you feel safe.. warm... secure... happy...
But you wonder, what makes you different than what he sees in others? how can he possibly see it when everyone doesnt?
I know the moment he gets close, at times i pull back...
maybe cos of the....things... i went through....
i fear... im afraid...... im scared... im vulnerable..
Im sensitive to what happen.. i am... but sometimes people misunderstand your sensitive-ness and misinterpret it as something else... something that can trigger a person's feelings/mood.
When i feel too comfortable in that certain path, what if it backfired ? what if you thought the person that can sees you differently is just lying? is just toying with you from the beginning?
I give my trust... i give it fully.. because if i dont, whats the use of he seeing you in a different way...
What is happiness ?
Happiness is when I see couples love each other even though they have fought many times or given each other the 'silent treatment' but still see them stay faithful and committed to each other.

I believe happiness is obtain when you know he sees you differently.. he believes in you.. he trusted you.. he sees the real you and you can be yourself, which include being childish in front of him.. not afraid to cry in front of him because you know he will hold you when you cry, he will tells you everything it's alright even tho both of you know that a simple sentence is not the way to everything..You are not afraid to tell him whats on your mind... you go to him when you got problem and both of you worked it .. when you know he trust you at any circumstances... also, he knows you are sad even tho you said you are feeling alright cos he can sees thru u.. he knows when you are jus acting strong when you are feeling weak at tat time.. and happiness is when you know he can be your mate, best fren, girl fren, guy fren and study partner at any time..... a simply gesture that most people might think that's no big deal can put a smile on your face........that's happiness to me... happiness is not when he had to buy you expensive stuff to cheer you up.. or he brings you somewhere expensive..... it's when you and him sitting on the park, looking at the twinkling stars and just talk whatever that comes into your mind........ or having picnic outside your house, on the porch... or celebrating the duration of time you guys together by being with each other, doing nothing on your anniversary but you have each others company.. that's all it matters...

Sometimes it might look safe and secure, but there's hidden obstacles that you cant see .. and when it happens, it's impact it so strong that you will end up thinking maybe you should be a different person and act differently........

Thinking back the memories i had with....