Emotions...

having my depression feelings again..
Can't seem to understand a few things...

Y life's a bitch?
Y does life alwis don't turn out the way u want it to be?
Y guys are bastards(no offense to the guys out dere)?

I dun seem to get the grip tat life's always a bitch.. i guess it's because everyting is going wrong..
My marks/grades for all subjects drop...
Having frens problem... two-faced frens & betrayal..
Fighting wif parents... i cant understand y they r being so paronoid..
Relationship problem..

I can solve the marks problem.. all i have to do is work hard& i will but jus not now.. my mind is blinded/full with emotion right now.. depressed & pain..
I know most of my close frens ( u guys know who u r & i luv u guys for putting up wif me) are getting bored & tired of my same old problem...
But i jus cant find a solution to it.. i dun wan to be bothering my frens wif the same old problem all the time either...
& wen, i dun wan to do wat u have suggested.. u know i cant do tat...
im complaining all the time but i jus want the best out of it...
is it tat hard? wtf is all tis..
izit cos im bad to ppl ?i dun even wana think bout all tis without the emo cuming out.. It's suffocating me.. honestly..
sometimes im feelin so tired.. cos i have to weigh myself wif all this shit..
There are times tat maybe i should just end it once and for all..
But i know i cant.. no matter wat happens or how it happens or why it happens..
i will always go back .. go back for the same black hole..
Izit tat hard to HOPE tat life will go ur way?
Life will turn out the way u want?
Will life turn my way if im:
Prettier?
Smarter?
Slimmer?
Maybe if im smarter,prettier & slimmer then life would turn the way i want it to be..
I know it's dumb for saying tis but life doesn't always turn the way u want..
But it's been like shit for the past few weeks..
easier to jus say wateva..but u know wat..
sometimes its easier to say but when u actually need to do it, it's very hard..
or maybe jus cos of me..